So as blogs go this is a bust.  My brain wraps around things but I never get it written down.
So here I am again.
New Years Day 2015
During the last 30 days of the year my ex-husband, dear friend and father of our two boys suffered a major bleed in his brain and was taken off life support after 13 days. It was a horrible decision for his 18 year old son and 39 year old daughter. Ol Doc Dennis would not have wanted to live the way he was though and so, as sad as it became, it was for the best.
On Christmas Eve a friend from church discovered her 30 year old son dead in his apartment. He had medical issues and they believe it was a mix of medicines gone wrong.
At 1:45 in the morning on December 26th, my cousin, was killed by bullets from a group of youths who had come out of the hotel he was staying at.
Today is a new year.  Everyone hopes the next year will be filled with good things, with hope and happiness not realized the year before, to overcome obstacles in front of them, to come away from heartbreak and sadness and have a new outlook.
No. It's still sad.
My son, who last week signed up for the Air National Guard, has to grow up faster than he ever imagined because his dad didn't really teach him how to stand on his own two feet. Yes he is a man going into the guard, but inside he is a frightened young man who has lost his father. His dad and I had been divorced for 10 years. We remained very good friends. We had the nicest divorce compared to horrendous divorces I have seen others go through.  I miss him. My now husband, Mr. Wonderful, was beyond understanding though his time in the hospital. Through my tears he knew that Dennis and I were friends and he would leave a hole in my life.  Thank God for Mr. Wonderful.
Shawn, my son, will grow into a decent young man, holding onto what he will learn through this. Nothing lasts forever. New years aren't always great. We can get through Christmas with a deep loss. His girlfriend looks good in auburn hair as well as she did in blonde and life will go on.
My friend suffers from the loss of a child. We expect out parents to go before we do. Not our children. Her new year will be difficult as she and her family deal with this loss.
My cousin, who left behind a daughter, son and grandchild, was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  When I get angry about guns, this is why. Yes I know guns don't kill, people do. Tell my cousin that. This one makes me angry. Very angry.
For the three people who's lives ended last month, you touched my life in so many different ways. I will miss all of you.