A Makeover Defines Beauty

When you stand behind a chair for over 25 years you see beauty differently.
When I first started I just wanted to do young, stylish clients who would only wear the latest styles and allow me to be my most creative. I still love doing clients like that but I've leaned that they are not the most important anymore. I'll leave that to the younger stylists.
I love it when someone who has never felt pretty about herself sits in my chair. One who is far from "perfect". One who has many flaws. It's not easy. usually these women have beat themselves down for years and never get a chance to feel good just about themselves.
As a hairstlist we should hold a second degree in Psychology. We listen all the time to our clients. We sense when they have been abused, or they share with us their unhappy relationships, how they don't feel loved. A good stylist learns that the best conversation is to listen.
These are the ones I want to make "beautiful" The midle aged woman who spent 15 years raising children, never spending a dime on herself, looks frumpy, sits slump shouldered. She is my favorite.
Nothing and I emphasize NOTHING feels as good s when your clients eyes light up and you know you have made her day. It may be something as simple as as a natural color, a easy to care for hairstyle, I may have given her a paraffin dip and massaged her hands while she was processing, handed her coffeee, brought her magazines. For a couple hours I was able to make her feel pampered and good about herself.
The pictures below are of a client I did last year. You will see below the transformation.

Kimberly fit the bill. Battleing cancer and feeling bad about herself she came to the salon for a makeover.

Kimberly after her makeover. She beamed and we were so happy for her.

This is what I enjoy more than anything. Changing someone that one and making them beautiful. Life is good.

Have a wonderful day, DS
      

Golden Globes ARE for hairstyles and gowns

Charlize Theron, soft waves and headband

When my stylists tell me they aren't sure of the new trends for proms and wedding I ask if they have watched the award shows. They will know then. As with this year, deep waves, shiny hair, not s many highlights, deep rich colors are the most popular. 

Nicole Richie, timeless ponytail

Mr. Wonderful and I were eating dinner Sunday night when the pre-show for the Golden Globes started. Being as there was nothing else on the 500 or so channels we pay for,I stated we should watch that.
With as much seriousness as that man can muster he replied " You know, people really watch this for the hair and gowns, not for what it's about" I think my reply was simply "Really"? I then pointed to myself and said "Honey? That's why I watch it, I'm a hairsylist, I love the hair and the gowns. This show we are watching right now at this moment is the PRE show, where they do nothing but show that" He simply stated back "Oh"
Do I really care who won Best Director?? Not really. I want to see the new stayles, what the dresses look like, observe with my analytical mind the bad dresses and bad hairstyles.  This is the precursor to the Oscars where I watch it for the same reason, although hopefully by the time they come out I will actually know what the movies are. At the Golden Globes many have not been released locally.
In all my years as a stylist, formal styles have been my favorite. Come on wedding and proms. I love them.
Can't wait for the Academy Awards to see who is wearing what. Mr. Wonderful will be peeking over his glasses.
Have a wonderful day,
DS

Teen Mistakes

Both of my boys are adopted. Erik, my oldest at 27 soon to be 28, was a tough kid to raise. When a child is adopted at an older age ( Erik was 6) their entire personlaities are already formed. You just pray you can guide them through life with a good understanding of what is right, what is wrong, what is moral and so on. Erik took a long way around, but has become a wonderful man.
Shawn is 15. Shawn will be 16 in April. I was hoping he wouldn't become a "teenager" as we all know most of them, but sighhhhhh, he did. There are days he talks, days he grumbles through them, days I want to choke him and days I want to hug him ( only if his friends aren't around because you know, not cool.)
I'm sure the looks from him must mean I have three horns growing from my head, but I believe it's mainly I'm an adult and he isn't, we don't live anywhere near the same planets, therefor I am the alien.
I've committed to getting him through these years and not losing my mind. There are days I am not sure where it is located, ( my mind that is) but I know I haven't lost it, just mislocated it.
Due to a really bad decision on his part, he won't get his license until he is 18. My heart sinks when I think of how this should be the time when he is practicing and in a few months he would leave in the car for the first time himself. I would be praying each time he left the house that if he has an accident, it be minor. Sadly, that won't happen for him and I am going to miss that time. I am wonderfing how if will affect him when all of his friends have their licenses and he does not.  I can't say I'll miss the times he breaks curfew and is in a car, but there is something about the years our kids go through at this age, that even though we have a hard time with it, it's passage into adulthood. The mistake he made, the bad decision, will be with him for a long time, It will take away a lot of what he should be going through the next two years. Hopefully it will make him a better man.
In the meantime, he will still be surly, moody, gripey, slouchy and a teen. That would have happened anyways. I love him.

Why I work where I do

When I started out as a stylist and worked in Minneapolis, my boss, Miss Bollenberg, who was from Europe and worked with Sassoon and Horst of Austria, knew I was planning on moving back to Oklahoma. I asked her how to find a salon I could build a good reputation in. She said to find the "top" salon in the area and do whatever it took to go to work for them.
Well, 25 years ago there was NO top name in OKC. None. You knew a few from the news programs, but no salon or stylist who had a stand out name. Even now, the "top"names are ones on the news programs who to the hair of the news personalitys for advertising.
At the time my confidence level was pretty low, my insecurities huge and I am not sure I could have sought out a salon like that anyways.  See I hate feeling like I am not as good as everyone else. Some of the "highend" salons, especially nowadays, can make you feel like that. To go to work in a highend salon would have been far out of my comfort zone.  I worked in a couple salons for several years, met some wonderful people, worked at a terrific place called "Hair Team" for about 8 years. Full of ladies who know how to run thier own businesses, who were busy all of the time, it was a comfortable , friendly salon and I was at home in it.
About a year after Hair Team opened a new salon opened across the street.  One day a new client in my chair let me know that her best friend owned that salon. I was a bit shocked she would be sitting in my chair and not at her friend's so I asked her why she chose not to go there. I have always remembered what she said. Her friend was very very wealthy and wanted only people in her salon who fit the same category. What touched me the most though was her comment. "If I go over there I feel I have to have all of my makeup on and dress in my best clothes. When I come here, I can feel comfortable and just enjoy the day. I don't have to dress up". I knew then, if I ever owned my own salon, THAT was how I wanted clients to feel. At home and comfortble. I think I have accopmplished that.
My salon is in far south OKC almost to Moore. Many people consider it Moore. Moore is a city just south of OKC. The suburban area.  I have heard comments from clients who come to me from far north or far west who tell thier friends where they are going and the friends have said to them "OH?? You are going to a salon on the southside?" Like we are something bad.
Last week I had a new client, wonderful young woman, had very long hair, wanted highlights and two hours later she was beaming with pleasure at her hair. She informed me that her friends had told her to find a salon in Edmond. That is the far north, much more expensive end of town town, where many people think is the only place you should go to get your hair done. She was surprised that she had now found a place in the south. Most of time when I hear things like that I cringe. What is worng with southside??
Last year I had a extension consultation with a lady who had driven the 45 minutes from the "North". I welcomed her in, we discussed her hair, she left with a price and said she would call me. A few days later I received a call. It went like this:
"Hi Debi, I was in the other day and we discussed extensions. I would like to make an appointment for that service."
"Hi Diane, I'm so glad you chose my salon. It will be a pleasure."
"Well I want you to know I still think it is a long way to drive, but the reason I want to come to you is because I felt comfortable in your salon, I didn't feel pressured and you were much nicer than the other place I went."
That my friends, is what I love to hear. While my reputation brought her to the salon, how she felt is why she continues to drive to my salon.
So when I have days when I think maybe I should have opened a salon up in the "better" area, I remember why I am where I am. I'm comfortable. I can keep my prices decent and when you do the right thing, people will come to you.
Have a blessed day, DS

                                                                                           

My wonderful corner of the world.

Meet Mr. Wonderful

Mr. Wonderful is my nickname for my husband. He is far from perfect, just wonderful. He has selective hearing, but comes back with such wonderful comments that when I scold him for it, that I am putty in his hands. He is my rock and you will hear much more about him.
His goal in life is to be a curmudgeon. If you have ever watched the ventriloquist Jeff Dunham and met "Walter", that would be the best example of a curmudgeon. He wants to be able to say whatever he thinks and people just blow him off because he is old. While he has a ways to go, I am practicing saying "I'm so sorry, he really doesn't mean that"  He blows a lot of smoke too though. Inside he would do anything in the world for me, and he has. He has been with me through two knee replcements, a bout with a type of drug similar to Chemo, rotator cuff surgery, two salon moves, teen problems, emotional ups and downs, tears, joys and much more. All of this in about 6 years. We met a year after I divorced my husband of 23 years and were married a year later.
He is my calm. I am a roller coaster. I get bend out of shape and he never loses his cool. He can put his arms on my shoulders, pull me too him and I melt away. Although sometimes I think he is afraid to do that to me because I'm sizzling. He does know when to invade my space and when to stand back.
I have a photo frame that says Mr. Wonderful on it. I think it embarrases him that I have his pic in it. I also call him my "Hunk of Burnin Love". He is. You'll rarely hear me fuss about him.
He isn't perfect by any means. I do all the cooking, but I found I like to cook for him. My kids and ex were so darn fussy I never made a meal for 20 years that satistfied everyone. Not even desserts. One liked choclate, one lemon, one strawberry, one hated coconut..I didn't cook rice for 20 years or make anything much that wasn't fried. ( I saw a pic from about 15 years ago and yes sirree, there is that fried food all over my body).
When I met Mr. Wonderful and realized his palate was a bit more advanced, I started enjoying cooking. Ok so he is a bit picky. NO macaroni and cheese, but outside of that I can cook pretty much anything. Baking, not so much. Nuts, he loves nuts and he dislikes peanut butter ( can you imagine?) coconut, oatmeat, fruit..just about everything but nuts and chocolate or butterscotch. Although I have quite a repetoire of recipes with those ingredients.
Mind you if I make an apple pie, he won't eat it, but if we go out to eat and I order an apple pie ala mode, he will eat half of it. Go figure.
He doesn't shower me with jewels or unexpected gifts, but he has remodeled the entire house ( except one bathroom) and I enjoy that much more than glittery things around my neck and fingers. When he has bought me something shiney I about fall over.
So I think I will keep him. Took me 50 years to find him. Yes he has brothers but they are married so don't ask.
It's early, I think I'll go snuggle a bit more.
Have a blessed day.
DS

Where the hell did my eyebrows go?

It's gone.  I didn't realize it until yesterday. Most of my life I had full nice brows. I never had to pluck or wax them because they looked good. I have also worn glasses my whole life so never thought I needed to do anything.
As I am in the 5th decade of my life I have noticed many changes. Besides everything dropping, I noticed my brows were thinner. They seem to get thinner by the day, but GONE???
Yesterday in the salon we were talking about our eyebrows. Some women have naturally beautiful ones ( count me USED TO BE in that category). The beauty of working in front of mirror all day (or the horror) is during a conversation such as that I glanced at my eyebrows. Well what was left of them.
How do I sit there every morning applying what seems like more and more makeup as I age, and MISS that I only have half a brow on one side. My left side. Seriously. It's so thin it looks like it's gone. Maybe a few hairs but I look like I got mad and shaved half of it.
Mr. Wonderful and I went to a movie last night. That dang brow bothered me all evening. I went to the restroom and lingered in front of the mirror looking at my suddenly missing brow.
When we arrived home and headed to bed I sat on the side of the bed looking in a mirror. Hubby "What are you doing"? "Plucking my brows" ( Hoping that if I shaped it it would look better) He knew not to ask why. He rolled over. I don't own a brow liner. I do have brown eyeshadow. So at 10:30 last night as Mr. Wonderful is starting to snore away I get out my little brush and my brown eyeshadow. Just a little bit. WOW..looked better already. Just a bit more!! Voila!! I have a brow. Looked so darn good I added some to the soon to be looking the same way right brow. Ahhhhhhhh now I have brows. Goodnight.

So You Got A Bad Haircut

We all do it in our career. Every single one one of us has given a client a lousy haircut. Some much worse than others. Never believe a stylist if they try to tell you they have never done a bad one. She means recently.

My favorite example :
During my first few years as a stylist I learned the term “Over the ear”. Look at your ear. “Over the ear” can mean absolutely no hair over the ear. Very short, cut around the ear. Maybe a longer sideburn, but very short.

Then there is “over the ear”, meaning the client does not want to see the top of her ear. Or the middle or even the whole ear. 

When a stylist hears the first over the ear but the client means the second over the ear, imagine disaster. Once you make that cut around the ear, it’s hard to turn back.

What is amazing is how the client sits there and says nothing.

You would think if she felt the cold steel of the shears as they are moving around your ear a person,who did not want to feel that,would yell “Stop!!”  But they don’t. Usually your stylist will catch a glare in the mirror, meaning she knows you know you are cutting it too short. At which point she is really about the have a heart attack but hopes if she continues cutting somehow it will get better. Cutting longer makes the client think you are making it better?  Sometimes, atl east new stylists hope so.

Possibly if stopped at this point, the haircut could be salvaged. Some people like those pieces around the ear short. It’s actually a bit stylish to cut the first 1/2 inch around the ear then drop hair over it, but really, a client will sit there and say nothing until the haircut is finished, blown dry and styled. Then she will say, if anything at all “It’s a bit shorter than I wanted”  Usually without a smile.

I have asked new clients when they told me they had a terrible haircut  at another salon if they said anything.  No is the answer I alwys get. I inquire as to why they didn’t. Most will say “I thought she knew what she was doing”. 
 A professional should say “I am so sorry, I apologize and will not charge you. If there is anything I can do, please tell me”  Most don’t do that either. They either tell the client they must have misunderstood and after a few days she will like it because it will grow. Or we stand there totally dumbfounded and say $40 please with no comment about her unhappiness . 

Do I still blotch up a cut? Occasionally. Usually because we didn't understand each other. I have learned to reflect back to my client and make sure we are both on the same wave line. Most of the time that works. I always stop when I am by the ear and discuss the length again.

For you who sit in our chair. Make sure you talk with your stylist. For you who are cutting. Listen to your client and remember what they say is not always what we hear.

Have a great day cutting or getting cut.

DS

Little Old Ladies

One of my stylists, Ashley, has been with me for 6 years. Fresh out of school, she has been one of the few newbies, who watch everything, listened to all advice, learned the ropes. She also listens as I speak, doing her best to emulate my words with clients.
On Friday morning I have four wonderful elderly women, well into their 70's and one in her 80's. I love these women. I have grown older with them, I know their families, I know their heartaches, their joy and I would do anything for them.
I lovingly call Friday my "Little Ol Lady Morning." Only to the other stylists. I would be horrified if I ever offended one of these ladies.
Ashley answered the phone recently and I was so proud as I heard her talking with the potential new client and answering questions about our services. The lady was asking about services for her elderly mom and wanted to know if we still could do roller sets. I thought to myself how nice it is to be able to still offer that and was waiting for Ashley to answer. My mouth hit the floor as I heard her response. "Of course we do. Friday is our little ol' lady morning"
Believe it or not, the precious lady came in.

No Shows Suck

In the worlds of service careers, no shows hurt. People who make appintments and never show up or call.
Example. I had an appointment this morning at 9 AM. I had booked out three hours since this was a new client referred by another client for adjusting extensions.  She didn't show up. I waited until 9:30, called the number I had, it was a business, I left a message and of course NO call back.
So please dear reader, WHY do people do that? I turned down two clients last week who would have liked in at that time.
If you do that at a doctor's office you get billed.  I have been asked why we don't bill for no shows. Well, because I don't believe if when a new client calls we ask for her credit card number, she would book.
Especially people who call for consultations. We don't charge for these, but 3 out of 5 people who book for these never show up. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I have two stylists trying to build their businesses. If you don't know it, they don't get paid anything when they have no business. So if you call at 11 AM to make an appointment for a color at 3 PM, the stylist will book out 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Then you don't show up. So they sit for that time, unpaid, unless a walk in comes in.
Last week we had three people do that. Call the same day and not show up. My heart breaks for the stylists when this happens. It happens in every salon to every stylist.
Why do people think it doesn't hurt us?  I'm not sure it happens in other businesses as much as a salon.
So please remember this. Stylist do NOT get paid if you don't show up. At least be considerate and call and tell them. We don't care why you can't come in. We don't need an explanation. Just call and say " I need to cancel my appointment with whoever" A considerate stylist or receptionist will ask if you would like to rebook. She will not ask WHY? Just tell her you will call some other time. Over and done.
Have a wonderful day and hug your stylist.
DS

Welcome to the insane world of a beauty salon and other things

I've blogged occasionally on my website but thought I would try this venue. Since I want it to be more than just salon stories, although I have a lot of those.
I own a salon in Oklahoma City. We have a song about the blowing wind that comes sweeping down the plains. The state, not the salon, although after 30 years of standing behind a chair, I've seen and heard a lot of wind.
 30 years in the salon makes me a "seasoned" stylist.  One of the companies I work with said so after I attended a class recently and said "See, you can teach an old dog new tricks"! To which she replied, "We like to think of you as seasoned, not old" Works for me. Although I love to cook, so now I compare myself to a well seasoned pot of stew. Filled with many good things, but definitley comfort food. That's me. Comfort. With clients ranging from 1 to 100, I have seen it all, heard it all and would love to share my shampoo bowls full of tales from behind my chair.
In my 30 years in a salon I have many times thought I could write a book. There have been a few TV shows but they never quite depicted the reality of a salon. Then there is "Tabitha Takes Over", where she goes in a salon with major problems and takes over for a week, thrashing those not doing a job right and at least once a week bringing someone to tears. For many that might be entertaining, but if some Australian gal walked in tell me to F-ing get my act together I would escort her to the door. Camera crew and all. I do watch it though. Never hurts to learn something new.
This blog will allow me to tell some fun stories, sad stories, successes and quite a few failures, with salons and family but hopefully I want to assist you in seeing a side of a business you should find enjoyable.
The beauty industry is full of egos, arrogance and greed. It's also full of talent, kindess and generosity.
When you work with people one on one, you learn a lot. During the one to 3 hours you are with a client, you become a therapist, spiritual guide, doctor, priest, lawyer and confidant.
I started in this business working for a brilliant, talented Austrian bitch. Seriously, I learned so much from her, but she was hell on wheels if you wrote an appointment down on her books wrong or if she just got out of the wrong side of bed. More about her. I will share her name though. Nelly Bollenberg. The first stylist I worked for, one of the most brilliant and I want to thank her for what she taught me, although she also taught me how I didn't want to be.

If you are a stylist, please share your own experiences. If you are a client, I would love to hear from your side of the chair. If you are anyone else, join in.
In ending, I love what I do. I have loved it since I left a beauty school ( Glamour Beauty Academy in Richfield, Minnesota ) that refused to teach blow drying since they believed it was a "passing fad".  How many times have I wanted to go back and ask them when they changed that. That was the early 70's my friends. I've seen styles come, styles go and now they are back with a new twist.

We have so much to talk about.
DS